


Tear Stained Letters

by ACloudyDay



Series: Paper Cuts [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, Moving On, Oikawa Tooru is a Mess, POV Oikawa Tooru, Post-Break Up, idk know if you will be happy with this ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29587713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACloudyDay/pseuds/ACloudyDay
Summary: Oikawa was one to keep things just because of the memories connected to it. Two of those things being his apartment, he was now letting go by moving out, and a shoe box full of written letters, notes and more little things that his first love and once best friend gave him through their relationship.  Even the box that housed the things had a special memory connected to it. (It felt like everything he owned had a special memory that reminded him of the other person.)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Paper Cuts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173953
Kudos: 8





	Tear Stained Letters

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote something that I feel confident in sharing! I hope you enjoy it.:)

Oikawa was one to keep things just because of the memories connected to it.  
Two of those things being his apartment, he was now letting go by moving out, and a shoe box full of written letters, notes and more little things that his first love and once best friend gave him through their relationship. Even the box that housed the things had a special memory connected to it. (It felt like everything he owned had a special memory that reminded him of the other person.)

Oikawa was excited to move out of his apartment. It was the first step to moving on. Despite his excitement his mind betrayed him by reminding him that this was supposed to be their apartment. He allowed himself to be sad for a few seconds before he pushed the thought deep back, doing his best to ignore it. He couldn't. This was their apartment for the first two years Oikawa lived in it. The walls of this apartment watched as their apartment slowly became his. The walls watched as Oikawa ruined the only good thing in his life. (He didn't know how to live a life without him. He was the reason he survived the first 25 years of his life. At 28, Oikawa finally realised, even if he didn't want to, he could live without him.) Oikawa was the reason that both of them grew sick and tired of each other's presence.(That's what he likes to believe even though he knew he was lying to himself when he told himself that.) He missed the man that used to dance in the living room with him. The man who cooked dinner because Oikawa wasn't capable of cooking to save his life. He missed the cat that they adopted together who ended up leaving with the other man. How would his future played out if they had stayed together?

He was done with thinking about the what ifs that usually popped up in his head that came along the thoughts about his ex lover. He had to focus on moving out of his apartment. Which at this point was completely empty excluding the living room and his bedroom which had all the heavy stuff that he would be getting help with the next day. He directed himself to the closet which he had been avoiding the whole time because of what is buried deep inside of it.

Oikawa found himself looking at the highest self that the shoe box sat on top of in the almost empty closet. He did not know what to do with it. Oikawa knew he should throw it away. The memories connected to it are the reason he was emptying out the closet in the first place. He didn't want to. Of course he didn't want to.The box was different from the apartment that he is leaving behind. This box held memories of both a platonic and romantic relationship he cherished with all his heart.

Oikawa decided to open it one more time.

He closed his eyes as he reached for the top of the self. HIs hands slightly trembled as he grabbed the box. The box weighed heavy with years worth of mementos. Most of them were good until he thought about it to the point it brought tears to his eyes and made his friends annoyed with him because he wouldn’t shut up. (Getting comments like, “Stupid! Why did you fucking look at them again?” or “This is the third time this week. Why haven’t you learned your lesson?” Of course he tried his best to not look at the contents of the box afterwards, but he’d always end up missing his ex. He is grabbing the box now, hoping the feelings he usually feels do not resurface.)

He squeezed his eyes tight before opening them and looking at the lid of the box. The lid was littered with all kinds of things drawn or written with sharpie. The first thing his eyes were drawn to first was “Iwa-chan loves Oikawa” written in big, block letters. Hearts and smiley faces littered the whole lid. In the left corner was an attempt to draw Godzilla and on the right was what was supposed to be an alien. The shoe box itself was from the first present he received from his ex as boyfriends. ( He still had the shoes which were packed away ready for the move.)

Oikawa already felt the tears forming in his eyes as he remembered the memory behind the box.

(“Look Iwa-chan! I finally have something to put all the things you gave me!”

The high school students were enjoying the summer before their second year. Iwaizumi was lying in Oikawa’s bed, watching T.V. while Oikawa sat at his desk admiring his so-called art. Iwaizumi directed his attention to his boyfriend when he heard his nickname.

Oikawa showed him the lid of the shoe box. Iwaizumi just looked at it with fake disgust because he secretly loved it, but there was no way he was going to let Oikawa know it.

“RUDE! I put so much effort into this,”Oikawa states with an added sigh.

Oikawa missed the moments spent in each other's rooms. He took their time together for granted. Now he was all alone stuck in the past while the other moved on. All Oikawa wished is that the other man remembered their life together even if it is just for a second out of the 94,608,000 seconds they have spent separated.)

Oikawa took the familiar box to his bed. He sat there staring at for what felt like hours. (“I should not open it” was running through his head.) Tears were already sliding down his cheek as he did. He missed him. It had been three fucking years, yet he missed him. This box held things that reminded him of that.

With trembling hands he decided to open it. The inside consisted of countless things that brought great pain to Oikawa’s fragile heart, yet he enjoyed it nonetheless. His heart was already broken beyond repair. How much damage can he still cause?

The box consisted of sticky notes. Some reminded him of his ex’s love, others reminded him that he needed to cater to his basic needs.(Oikawa had a tendency to do that knowing that he had a shoulder to lean on.) There were movie tickets, a ring, little plushies, polaroid pictures of the two of them, and the many letters that were written to Oikawa.

Oikawa’s eyes lead him to the first letter the other man wrote him. It read, Happy birthday, Oikawa! I did not know what to get you for your birthday, so I decided to write you a letter telling you how much I care about you.( You can call me a bad friend for all I care at least I am giving you attention.) You are my best friend and honestly I don't want to know a life without you. As you know I’m not the best at talking about my feelings and hopefully this does my feelings justice. I hope you have a good day. Love you. your best bud, Hajime. 10 year old Oikawa was overjoyed with the present. He did not care that it was just a letter. “You’ll be my best friend forever Iwa-chan,”Oikawa announced once he finished the letter. If only 10 year old Oikawa knew what the future had in hold for them.

The next letter he always read was the other man’s confession. The letter he got right before the start of their first year of high school.

Where do I start? How do you say what I’m about to the guy I claim to be my best friend? I don’t want to ruin our relationship but I have to say it. I’m about to burst if I don’t get this out. Oikawa Tooru. The guy who is always at the center of attention and who is really annoying most of the time.(This comment got a “how rude, Iwa-chan!” and a “just finish reading Shittykawa”) But I know the real one behind the mask. The one who cries. The one who strives to be the best in anything he does. The one who’s genuine smile belongs to me and a few other people. The one who is not perfect. I love this Oikawa so much. For a while I’ve seen you more than a friend. (Oikawa eyes grew big along with the anxious feeling forming in Iwaizumi.) I’m not expecting mutual feelings, but I just wanted to tell you how I see you. Hopefully this does not affect our friendship!

(Oikawa started laughing. “ Of course this is going to affect our relationship,” Oikawa giggled.

Iwaizumi’s eyes grew bigger with fear which caused Oikawa to laugh harder. “What do you mean, Asskawa?”

Oikawa suddenly grew quiet,“I Like you too Iwa-Chan.”)

The third and final letter he loved so much( even though it brought so much sadness) was the letter Iwaizumi was going to use to propose to him with.

All Oikawa remembered was the yelling and fighting and the tears between the both of them for weeks. They were both finally done with each other’s bullshit. This particular night was all a blur to Oikawa. The only thing he remembered so clearly was his ex lover saying,”I’m sorry, Oikawa. I really tried for the both of us, but I’m sick and tired. I miss the happy couple we were. I can’t handle this anymore.” He shoved a box and a piece of paper in his hand before walking out the front door.

The letter read:

Oikawa. My best friend. My one and only. My universe. My everything. I don’t think I can live without you. May you marry me?

(There wasn't much on the paper, but nonetheless it left Oikawa broken.)

Oikawa spent this time re-reading the letters and staining them with even more of his tears. He misses the other man terribly. Oikawa misses his presence. Oikawa survived on it. The other man was his life line. He fucked everything up for the both of them. He had no right to miss the other man as much as he did.

Oikawa lied in bed silently crying waiting for sleep to take over him. When he found himself like this his mind would always wander to his ex. Oikawa wonders if he is doing well. If their break up had hurt him as bad as it did Oikawa. If he missed the Oikawa as much as Oikawa did him. Oikawa would think about what ifs for hours until sleep took over him.

Eventually It did.

Oikawa woke up refreshed ready for the day. He told himself that he was going to enjoy this day no matter what happens. Today is the day he moves on from his ex. Today is the day he is going to start fresh.( He told himself all of this while ignoring the box he said he was going to throw away.)

Then his day started. The movers came and helped move the last of his stuff to his new apartment. And with that his apartment was now empty. He was finally saying goodbye to the place that was holding him back and headed to his new home.

He finally entered his new home. He spent most of the day unpacking, Making his house his. (Most of the furniture he owned used to be theirs so he either sold or put into storage. Allowing him to find new furniture himself.) He filled his shelves with books, fake plants, and knick-knacks he acquired over the years.

Then he went into his kitchen, and put the plates and bowls in one cabinet and cups and mugs in another. He filled the drawers with silverware and other kitchen utensils. He made sure to put his new succulents in on the windowsill. (He was bad with plants. So bad that he killed succulents.)

His final destination was his bedroom. He unpacked his clothes first. The closet was a walk-in with many selves and areas to hang his clothes, so he spent time separating, folding, and hanging his clothes allowing himself the satisfaction of a clean, neat closet.

It was after he was done organizing his closet, the doorbell rang.

He opened the door with a big smile until he met the green eyes staring back at him.

“Oikawa?”

“Hello, Iwaizumi.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hoped you enjoyed it. :)  
> This is part 1 of a 4 part series so I hope you come for the other parts once they are published. Thanks again for reading!


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